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Haik Bedrosian
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Election Day was Tuesday March 3, 2009
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Remote Control Pager and The Light Bulb
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Cumulatively, the number of hours Americans waste looking for their remote controls probably amounts to many lifetimes per year. What I don't understand is why the hell there isn't a pager button on the TV itself that makes the remote control beep. Cordless phones have it. Why don't remotes?! It seems so obvious. Patent Pending.

And what's this I hear about incandescent light bulbs becoming illegal? Is it me, or is the earth melting under our feet? I love light bulbs. You know how old people always talk listlessly about the way things were? The good old things you just can't buy any more? I think the pace of change in the last 30 years has turned me into one of these melancholy old folks at the age of 34. That's exactly what my recent posts about Mind Games and The Seventies were about. In a couple of years I won't fit into this modern world at all any more.

The small tribes of South America who have lived the same way for a thousand years have really got it over on us. We could only dream of living in such an environmentally friendly way, and they don't have to go from DOS to Windows to Windows 95 to Windows 98 to Windows XP to Windows Vista to Windows just kill yourself already, you're a tool locked in a system that will destroy you eventually anyway. You know? Just spear some wild boar and let the women skin and gut it. Eat and dance around a fire. Look at the stars. Perfect. We're not better than them. We're worse. Much, much, worse.

Now where's my remote?
posted by Haik Bedrosian @ 10:40 PM  
11 Comments:
  • At December 21, 2007 1:01 AM, Anonymous He Who Was Once Anonymous said…

    You wouldn't have gotten along with those pesky turn-of-the-(20th)-century know nothings who in so many ways created and shaped our worldview. Crazy SOBs like Durkheim, Marx, or for that matter, anyone who thought (thinks) that today is de facto better than yesterday.

    Oh, and don't forget: idealizing the past, seeing something better in that ways things were, yeah that's kinda how fundamentalists (of all stripes) see the world. I'm just sayin', is all.

    Here's a question: do you think those cave-dwellers thought: "man, if only we could be back in that primordial sludge, you know...little one cell organisms. Man THAT was livin'!"?
    All things are relative, right? The past only looks good having survived it. It generally was never as good when it was the present. We're funny little creatures that way.

     
  • At December 21, 2007 3:00 AM, Blogger Haik Bedrosian said…

    Spoken like a true academic.

    Light bulbs and the small tribes of South America exist in the present, actually.

    I idealize the past and lament the present to be sure, but in this post I am also idealizing items in the present, and lamenting the future.

    You got any more bobcat stories?

     
  • At December 21, 2007 8:00 AM, Blogger Cassandra Jupiter said…

    Hey Haik, the African tribe probably lose all their teeth by age 20. That kind of sucks.

     
  • At December 21, 2007 10:53 AM, Anonymous He Who Was Once Anonymous said…

    Well, re: the past and much about the future: not alot you can do about either.

    And no, no bobcat stories yet...

     
  • At December 21, 2007 1:16 PM, Blogger Haik Bedrosian said…

    Hey Haik, the African tribe probably lose all their teeth by age 20. That kind of sucks.

    I said "South American" not "African," Cassandra, but I see your point regardless. Perhaps they lose their teeth, but whomever we're talking about, I'd bet their cancer rates don't come close to ours.

    And yes 'was once anon.' There's not a lot I can do about the past or the future. There's not a lot I can do about anything. All I can do is blog local politics and pretend to influence that.

    Hey remember King Hussein of Jordan? He used to fly himself back and forth to the Mayo clinic for treatments for the Non-Hodgekin's lymphoma that killed him in 1999. Shortly before he died he blew off some chemo sessions to participate in middle east peace talks in Washington. "Chemo be dammned" he said and he flew his jet to DC to help out. Was King Hussein cool or what?

    And can you believe that Ariel Sharon is still alive? He's been in a coma for two years. incredible.

    Not much anyone can do about anything.

    I'm hungry.

     
  • At December 21, 2007 5:00 PM, Blogger Cassandra Jupiter said…

    Isn't there something about genetic mutations being good for our human species overall? Like maybe the prevalence of cancer is a (good) sign that we're evolving?

     
  • At December 21, 2007 5:00 PM, Blogger Cassandra Jupiter said…

    Oh and I don't see how you can see down my shirt, but power to you.

     
  • At December 21, 2007 6:45 PM, Blogger Haik Bedrosian said…

    I think the prevalence of cancer is a sign cancer is evolving, not us. Tread lightly please.

    Blow up the picture and show it to Josh. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I just want the Poopsie pic comments to stop.

    Are you blogging from Thailand?

     
  • At December 21, 2007 10:03 PM, Blogger Cassandra Jupiter said…

    Hi Haik, pls delete anything for any reason. I don't mind censorship and I probably deserve it. Sorry about the Poopsie comments and anything and everything else then. I fly out tomorrow morning. I don't know if I'll blog much there, but I'll try. I love BurlingtonPol. Great name, great writer, great guy!!! Mr. Jupiter sends his regards.

     
  • At December 21, 2007 10:04 PM, Blogger Cassandra Jupiter said…

    Oh, I just blew up the picture. I think you think my collarbone is my boob?

     
  • At December 21, 2007 11:22 PM, Blogger Haik Bedrosian said…

    Close enough. Get a burka.

    So does Mr. Jupiter get to hit Bancock alone since the dollar is down, or does he still need a chaperone? HA!

    You and Josh Jupiter good.

     
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